Are you living your dream? I wish I'd known what the dream was and how to find it 20 years ago!

Why, when asked, do so many of us feel that we are not on our ‘true path’, or we are not living our dream and doing that one thing that we should be doing? A few years ago I began considering my own path and challenged myself to discover what ‘it’ was for me.

What should I be doing to make my living and more importantly, who should I be doing it for?

After many, many hours of research, reading, questions and meditations I’ve come up with the following five questions to help you find what you’re looking for and what you should be doing to earn your living..

So I, like you decided I was going to do ‘it’! Now that you’ve began to read this article we can agree that you’ve decided to chase your passion and live your dream. You’re pissed off waiting for it to happen and you’ve decided you’re going to make it happen! You’ve read the books; you know the ones that have told you that you’ll be amazing at it and that when you finally start doing it that everyone will notice the change in you.

They’ll notice how fresh you look. They’ll notice your eyes, your complexion, and your posture. They’ll notice that you move differently now that you’re doing it. They’ll notice that your clothes sit better on your body now that you’ve found it and are living it. They’ll notice how inspiring you are when you communicate about it and how passionately you approach every day just to make sure you get better at it...Just one problem...you’re not too sure what it is!  

I am going to ask you to answer five simple questions that will allow you to discover your it.

The thing that you should be doing, pursuing, perfecting and making your living at. Now, don’t get me wrong here, I’m not trying to sell you some golden goose that’s going to allow you to breeze through the rest of your life banking a six figure sum every month with little or no effort – not this time sweetie, that’s a different read and if you can find a way to do that I’ll be the first in line to buy a copy of that book.

What I intend to set out to do here is to help you find the thing that you can give your all to, the thing that you can apply all the mind-set, time management, mental focus, determination and endurance skills that you know you have and know you could you use amazing well, if, you could only work out what the thing was, your thing, that thing you know that could really set your world on fire.

Man, if you could just find your thing, you’d definitely be the man to be brilliant at it!

The thing is I believe that you already have an inkling as to what it is. I’m going to suggest that you have already been thinking about it and that maybe you’ve been hiding from it. Rather than searching for it you’ve been ducking away from it as it searched you out. It’s actually been looking for you rather than you looking for it and every time it reveals itself to you, in your quiet moments or, when you see someone else doing it you deny it. “I couldn’t do it”, “I couldn’t afford  to do it”, “I wouldn’t have the time to do it”, “I’ve got a mortgage to pay”, “I’ve got bills to pay”, “They’d all think I was crazy if I said I was going to do it” Let me offer you an out right now. If you are happy doing what you’re doing, that’s amazing! I don’t mean if you’re happy enough to put up with what you’re doing right now because it pays the bills, feeds the cats and gets you a few beers at the weekend. I mean if you are genuinely happy at what you’re at, really at ease with the love and motivation you have for your current it, that’s brilliant, keep doing that then, you sir or madam can return to whatever you were doing 5 minutes ago. I’m going to put my neck on the line again though and say you’re not. You’re not happy with where you’re at right now. Whatever it is right now, it’s not it. It’s not your it. It’s somebody else’s it and you’re getting paid to do it for them so that they can do more of whatever it is they want to be doing. No sir, you’ve followed the link, you’ve committed enough time to read the first 4 paragraphs and you want to know what it is.

So 5 questions, that’s all and they are easy questions, real easy. The first question is like being able to write your name on the exam paper, in fact, the first question is your name on the exam paper..

Question 1. Who are you?

Really, who are you? That’s it, it’s that easy. I am Kevin Young, father to my two beautiful daughters Rosa and Christa, husband to my beautiful wife Sharon. I am a brother, a son, an uncle, a friend. That’s it, that’s the first question answered and if you got that one right you are twenty percent of the way to finding your it. I told you finding it was going to be easy, well, what I actually told you was that you were hiding from it rather than looking for it and here is your second chance of an out, if you answer the next four questions honestly, and, it’s your own honesty you are dealing with here you will know your it and once you know your it it’s soul destroying not to do it. So, if you don’t want to know your it, or you don’t want to be brave enough to follow it, I’d say duck out now, it’ll be a lot less pain in the long run.

Question 2. What is it that you (love to) do?

Another easy question for you I’m sure you will agree although this question does require a few disclaimers. When I ask What is it that you love to do? I should really open brackets and ask And think there is a chance of making money at? then close brackets. So we all love sitting on our back sides drinking coffee and chatting to friends and I have one friend who loves to collect beer mats but I’m not so sure either of these ‘loves’ can earn you any money. I mean what do you love to do that you feel can add value to someone else’s life? We have all have skills and talents that we think couldn’t be of value to anyone else..I used to own a café and would sell catering packs of salads, coleslaws, pasta, soup and stew for customers to take home for parties and BBQ’s. I would often get asked to make enough coleslaw for twenty people. Now, with a good food processor, a cabbage, 3 carrots and some mayonnaise I could make the coleslaw in about 2 minutes for £3, I sold it for £20 and that was cheap by supermarket prices! Initially I couldn’t fathom why people wouldn’t just make the coleslaw at home, shit it wasn’t hard. Then I realised it wasn’t hard to me. I also had a joiner come to my house to hang a door for me, he kind of chuckled and said ‘would you not do it yourself, it’s really easy?’. Same thing,  really easy to him, not to me, so I was more than happy to pay the £50 to get the job done properly. My point is do not immediately dismiss the thing you love to do as being of no use to anyone else (unless of course it is!). What is the thing that you can do for people that they value and you say ‘it’s nothing, don’t worry about it’. What’s your coleslaw, so to speak? You know the thing I’m talking about...Maybe it’s not a ‘something’, maybe it’s a ‘somewhere’ or a ‘someone’. With whom to you like to spend your time? Who do you admire? Where is this? Pay attention to these things because chances are this is where your it is. Be on the lookout for this ‘something’, ‘someone’ or ‘somewhere’.This is your product or service, this is what you are going to charge for, and this is what’s going to make you money. Making money with a smile on your face too. I love to help my clients get from where they are to where they want to be. That’s my answer to question 2. Easy, right? So what do you love to do? Do you love to build and understand websites? Do you love to design rooms and interiors? Do you love to cook and share recipes? Maybe it’s keeping fit or gardening? I’d say you already know what it is, go on, be brave, admit it. It’s been vying for your attention for a long time now.

Question 3.  Who do you love to do this for?

And the answer here isn’t ‘everyone’ that’s BS. Seriously, who do you love to do this for? Is it for people who have asked you for help? Is it for people less fortunate than you? Is It for people who run real great businesses but struggle with the bookkeeping side of things, or the e-commerce side of things or the staff management side of things? Is it for people who love dogs or collect shoes? Seriously think about this, this is an important question, easy to answer and vitally important to know. This is your target market. This is your tribe. These people will be your ambassadors and your advocates. They will market and advertise your business for you. They will recommend you to their peer groups and business colleagues, if you’re good enough, and we already know that you are going to be good enough because this is your thing and these are your people. You are going to look for more of these people and you’ll find them too because, when you can recognise the ones that are in your life already you’ll start to see them everywhere. They will be walking around will flashing neon arrows above their heads that says ‘help me too’ For me, I love to do this for people who want to develop themselves or their businesses and to be honest a business will never exceed the development of the person leading it so the real answer is that I love to help people who want to develop. So we’re almost there, just two questions to answer that will allow you to discover your it, the thing you should be doing to bring you most happiness in life. That thing that you can do to help others overcome a challenge. That thing that others will be delighted to pay you for because you are so good at it. The fourth and fifth questions are questions designed to help you set the standards that you will achieve. They are questions that suggests to others how you will be known. More importantly, how people feel about you..  

Question 4 What can the people you’re doing your thing for expect from you?

This is not a question to think too deeply about. It really is as easy a question as it sounds, its not a trick question or one designed to trip you up. So, what can the people you are dealing with expect from you? They may rightly expect that you know what you are talking about, so get the knowledge required or, at least know where to go to get the answers to question that may arise. They may rightly expect that you have the appropriate equipment to do what it is you’ve said you are going to do or provide. Are you going to take family pictures? Do you have a camera, lights and a studio to take photos in? Do the people that you are providing a service for have a fair expectation that you will be pleasant to work with? That you will be respectful of their beliefs, culture, home or business? Is it fair to say that people can expect that you will keep promises and deadlines, be punctual and open and honest about any concerns or delays? For me in my business I can answer that question as follows. I believe it is reasonable for people to expect that I give my absolute best in every interaction I have with them. That I should display a high level of integrity, honesty, confidentiality and that I have a burning desire to help them achieve the results they want. Can you see that there is a picture forming in your mind as to what you should be doing and who you should be doing it for. There is a picture forming of how, you believe, others expect to be treated and how they will feel about you. I trust that you will agree that these five simple questions give a great insight into who you are, what you should be doing and who you should be doing it for. So our fifth and final question is a question that deals in emotion. Emotion is why people will market your business for you, it’s why people will recommend you to their family, social and business groups its why they will enjoy their interactions with you...or at least it should be!

Question 5. How will people feel when you have done this thing for them?

Now I suppose this is an assumptive question in that we are assuming that people will feel how you would like them to feel but, arguably, if you have an idea how you would like them to feel and an understanding that they will feel something then you are in a better place to help them actually have this feeling. Maybe you are a masseur and you want people to feel relaxed after you have provided your services or, maybe you want people to feel confident that you have planned their event exactly how they wanted. Maybe you want people to feel that they had been really listened to and understood. You might, and arguably should, want people to feel that they have had good value, remembering that value and cost are two completely different subjects. Cost is an amount, a number. There is no emotion associated to cost only to value. A service, product, idea or piece of advice will only cost too much if its associated value is not high enough. So, lets answer the question. How will people feel when you have done this thing for them? For me I want my clients to feel happy, enlightened, confident, calm and fun loving. I want them to feel high levels of self compassion and able to love and accept themselves exactly as they are right now.  

AND HERE IS THE TRICK TO ANSWERING YOURSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE WHEN ASKED 'WHAT DO YOU DO?' 

So there you have it, five simple questions answered. Here’s the trick, when you are asked by anyone you meet ‘What do you do?’ just answer that question with your answers above backwards from question 5 to question 1 and when asking yourself ‘what should I be doing?’ just answer from question 5 to question 1... ‘Hi Kevin, what do you do?’ ‘I help people feel happy, enlightened, confident, calm and to have fun. I help people feel high levels of self compassion and to be able to love and accept themselves exactly as they are’ ‘My goodness, how do you do that?’ ‘By making sure that my clients know that I will give my absolute best in every interaction I have with them. That I will act with integrity, honesty and confidentiality and that I have a burning desire to help them achieve the results that they want to achieve’. ‘I love to do this for people who want to develop themselves in their personal, business or financial life. I do this by helping people get from where they are to where they want to be. And I am delighted to be a father of two beautiful girls, a husband to a terrific wife and have a great extended family and social network.

So conventional wisdom contained in the many books you’ve read, classes and seminars you’ve attended, deep state meditations and one to one mentoring sessions that you’ve invested your time and money have conditioned you to think that your ‘it’ was a difficult one to find whereas I am happy to look you in the eye and state that if you can answer these five questions honestly and be prepared to use the answers with yourself, and with others you meet, you will have a great chance of leading yourself towards your it, and having a great chance of ensuring that others value your it too. You will have noticed that only two of these questions are internalised. Questions 1 and 2 ask about you, the remaining three questions ask about others, that’s not an accident. It is only by applying our specialised skills to helping others that we can make a success of that idea and as Napoleon Hill said in his book ‘Think and Grow Rich’ ‘All achievement, all earned riches, have their beginning in an idea! If you are ready for your it, you already possess one half of it, therefore, you will readily recognise the other half the moment it reaches your mind. In farewell I’d like to bid you Good Luck! Go do your thing and you will make yourself and everyone who comes in to contact with you very happy indeed! Kevin.